LIFE IS JUST TOO TOUGH.
I have been procrastinating to study and Oh, look. Bam! A week more till eoy. No motivation, no energy and not in the mood. I am trying to put my new zealand trip infront of me even though I get a lot of bad recommendations because it is a "retiring" place. But that is where I can cut off myself from the judgmental world. How cool will that be?! It's pretty much crazy. Like help me..... I have no energy to study.... so I decided to get some take 5. But I read on the internet that take 5 might cause some side effects and If you are allergic to it, you can get immediate headaches, nausea, etc. Which is pretty much serious and I don't want to risk it. From the much research I have done, there are three types of take 5 the physical help which is for athletes and working out, the mental one which claims to help to improve on memory,etc. And the decaf one... there is a Niacin in the mental and physical one whereas the decaf one doesn't. Niacin is something that... (go Google it) might cause overrated boosted or adrenaline to most people or maybe some which can cause someone to get hospitalized. Pretty serious.
I ran out of caffeine pills and I need them badly but they are so far and I can't waste time going there... was considering to take the decaf take five or going to gnc for some boost but they say that SG might have banned those PEP pills because those contain drugs etc. Help please.... sigh. Really can't afford to like pass out while taking take 5.

I don't know where to start... I just feel like a piece of shit. Result slips are back and it is horrible. I only pass 2 for overall. Like so pathetic. Even though I get A1 for my maths and I admit I was rather satisfied with my result for maths, the rest was just to add on to depression. How is that even legally allowed in my own law. Sigh. I mean like seriously. Not about my nonsensical law but it's really depressing. Had a little talk with my parents. Haha. This time it was different. Way shorter and faster. I swear. But what adds on to the depression is that my mom says my improvement for math is "LITTLE" seriously what more do you want there's nothing more than A1.
It just feels like my world has turn upside down. I thought of extreme ways. What If I am left out of society. What If I have no status and recognition. What If I turn out to be those without future. What If I grow up struggling with money and life. What If I fail in life. What If no one loves me. What If .....
All these scares me alot and I really wanna cry when I think of it. It's just too scary.
What motivates me now really is the new Zealand trip. To really put down reality away for awhile and run away from society. Sigh...

EOYs are like only 3 weeks away. So worried for everything. It's time to study and I want to play. I late this feeling. I can't even sit down for an hour to study. I am distracted by everything. Why?! My hopes are high and I don't wanna disappoint myself or anyone.
Constantly feeling tired every morning because I am too busy thinking the last night. I feel stress because I am not stress. Help..
..

Here's a picture of me that I tried my best to edit it nicely. Hahah. So anyway apologies that I have not blog for long long long long long long long long long long long. Okay you get the point. LONG TIME. super busy with life and I noticed I haven't been tweeting much everyday. There was once when my tweeting habit dropped to one tweet per day. Yes, OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I am. So it's pretty hetic. I am trying to entertain myself (Yes, I know I do that skirt everytime. Okay fine. Every second.) And you guys too! There's a benefit when you follow me! *Wink wink* hahah. Follow my onstage @bipolareuphoria and my twitter which you know and I changed my Facebook account. Okay fine, more like creating a new Facebook account because the old one was very messy and BAD memories were there too. I am only using Facebook now for more like blogshopping... so yeah. It's been pretty long since I went on formspring too because questions came in and I am really really sorry to say this but when I see the same old questions, I just don't wanna answer any. Sigh I tried my best to reply some emails already and I have also change my email. Yes, really. Start over a new life. It's bipolareuphoria@gmail.com.
Okay, so my life have never been better but still living alive. I mean everything is unpredictable. It's so tough. Like I will never know what my teacher is going to wear, I will never know that maybe I might die tmr *touch wood* it is like we said that life is too short and we have to appreciate the loved ones but sometimes things are really unpredictable and sad things happen... whatever.
So anyway good news!!!! (For me) family and I, are heading to new zealand for 18 days!!!! Can you believe it?! It's gonna be fun!!!! Alright much love. I will be back soon alright?? Toodles!!!!